Where's my teddy bear?
by Arlaxxer
Summary: Booker revisits a memory he had hoped to forget.


**A/N: i dont even know**

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Booker has never considered himself a "philosopher", actually, he thought that all philosophers were just plain stupid assholes (and Booker still puts up with the Lutece twins who seem to do nothing but nag him even more than before, and that says a lot). But still, sometimes he could not help to wonder what the meaning of his life is.

The wood burning in front of him in the fireplace crackled and heated the fabric of the armchair he was sitting in, making it quite comfortable. There was no sun outside to light up his living room and make the red light the fire was emitting pale in comparison; there was only the quiet moon watching him.

Booker gazed into the dancing fire and some grim memories of his awoke from their deep slumber to taunt him once again.

He found himself standing on grass wearing a military uniform with a torch in his hand and his rifle slung over his back, being held back from falling by the long strap. His eyes went up from the staring at the grass to looking at the sky. They were getting deeper and deeper into the night.

And yet, though it was night, he could still see his surroundings as clearly as if it was still daylight. He could see the teepees burning with a horrible red fire that sent smoke into the sky and covered the once so beautiful stars. He could hear numerous things such as the loud bonfires and the muskets getting fired, but those things were nothing in comparison to the screams of the innocent people he was hearing. The poor innocents were crying and screaming for help in Sioux, but there was no one to help them.

Booker's eyes swiftly turned to the teepee right in front of him. It was wide open and inside he could see a tiny little Lakota girl who could not have been more than six or seven. She did not look like a Lakota Indian, her skin was not the same shade as the others, and she looked pale and frightened to death. Booker lowered his torch for a moment to consider what the hell he was about to do. He bent slightly down and reached for the little girl with his hands. How could he kill someone who had their whole life in front of them?

He just couldn't do it.

The little girl opened her eyes, revealing a pair of big sea-blue eyes that was partly covered by her chocolate brown hair. She was so terrified to see one of the soldiers who were killing her family, but something told her that this one was good enough. She reached out as well to take his hand. They were mere inches away from each other.

And then Slate yelled at the top of his lungs.

"DEWITT! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?! BURN THAT TEEPEE IMMEDIATELY, WE HAVE TO SHOW THESE DUSTEATERS NOT TO MESS WITH US!"

Booker flinched backwards and the girl stumbled quickly back into the teepee. She covered her eyes and even though the terrible screams still tore through the air, all Booker could hear was her quiet sobbing. But Booker had to prove himself that he was capable of doing _anything._ He raised his torch and made the quick decision of closing his eyes as the fire touched the teepee's outer part, setting it on fire. The girl suddenly cried something in Sioux.

"DADDY?! DADDY PLEASE HELP ME! DADDY WHERE ARE YOU?!"

The second after that, Booker regretted his whole life and the paths that he had chosen.

The following day he resigned from the military and went back to oh so familiar place that he had felt so sorry for. The grass was still coal black from the fire and there was not a single teepee or other kind of structure that was not just rubble on the ground now. He went over to the place that had changed him and dug a little in the remains of the last teepee he had burned down to the ground yesterday.

There was no corpse. The corpse of the little girl was not there. A little grain of hope inside Booker tried to assure him that she had somehow made it away, but the chances were astronomical. He dug a little further and his hands collided with something weird. He pulled up an object that was covered in ashes and brushed most of it off, revealing a teddy bear that had somehow not got a single scratch on it, minus the ash that Booker couldn't remove with his hands.

He flipped it over to look at its back and saw that there was a weird kind of pocket on it. He reached into the pocket and pulled out a tiny slip of paper that had something in Sioux scribbled on it.

_"To Anna, my dear daughter. You are the light of my life. – Your father."_

He stared at it for a few seconds before putting it into his backpack. Booker didn't know what he was going to do with it, but he hoped he would find a place for this lost teddy bear some day.

A quiet sobbing brought Booker back into the reality.

He got up from the comfortable armchair and walked up the stairs to his daughter's room. The little seven year old child had her eyes open wide. She was completely still and when she saw her father enter the room she turned her head to sob into the pillow. She didn't want him to see her like this; she wanted to be strong like him. To never cry and to always know what to do.

"Anna, what's wrong?"

"N-nothing… I just had a really bad nightmare."

"What was it about?"

"It was about this g-girl who had been kidnapped-d from her f-father and locked in a cage so weird people could do evil e-experiments on her. Daddy, what if p-people want to put me in c-cage too?"

One thing Booker wished for was another Comstock that could act as the Booker's punching bag. This just fueled his hate for him even more.

"No one will ever take you away from me. Never."

He pulled her slightly up from her bed and hugged her as hard as he could without breaking her bones.

"Daddy you're squeezing me!"

Nonetheless, she returned the hug as hard as she could. He kissed her on her forehead and then laid her back into her bed. She smiled at him and he knew she wouldn't have nightmares anymore. He picked up the very familiar teddy bear that was sitting her bedside table and looked at its slightly worn face. His eyes shifted back to looking at his daughter.

"Go back to sleep now, young missy. School is back tomorrow. Here, Mr. Bubbles will make sure you won't have any more nightmares."

He gave her the teddy bear and she held it close to her chest. She smiled at her father and tried to stifle her yawn.

"Good night daddy."

"Good night sweetheart."

She stifled another yawn and then closed her eyes to go back to her sleep.

Booker looked at her sleeping for a few minutes before going over to the window and looked outside. In a split-second he was sure he could see original owner of the teddy bear smiling at him from the nearby park he sometimes took Anna to. He then went on to leave the room and let the light of his life rest. Before closing the door, he casted another glance at his pretty little daughter and knew for one peaceful second fully knew what the meaning of his life was.

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**A/N: Reviews make me both happy and a better author.**


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